The Roles Men and Women Play in Conflict

In the group discussion questions in class on Tuesday, our group was the smallest by far with only three people. Our question was “What roles do men and women play – how do gender roles limit or enable men and women to act in conflict?” While it was definitely a tough question to answer with such a small group, we did get some ideas. We all agreed that whether essentialist notions of womanhood and femininity help or hurt the feminist movement depends on what version of feminism you follow. There are so many different ways to view feminism, and to believe what empowers women. That makes it difficult to talk about this question – there are so many ways to argue about it.

I believe that violence done by men is pretty much considered normal in most societies. By normal I mean not necessarily condoned, but not unexpected. With women, it’s a different scenario. I feel that the dominant belief in the U.S. is that when women are violent, it is either because they are insane or because they need to protect or defend something, like themselves or their children. Not necessarily their country, but something more close to home, whereas men often fight for abstract idea such as God and patriotism.

Just look at the show “Snapped” and the trials dealing with battered women who turn on their abusive husbands. Violence in women is abnormal, and often actually condoned because of the circumstances. It seems that women will only fight for something incredibly important but also very close to them, very concrete. They’re usually seen as peaceful, or active bringers of peace, like the women of Lysistrata.

I don’t know how this idea came to be, but it would be interesting to see what psychological studies have been done on the differences between the genders on this subject.